WRITTEN BY ANNE STONEHOUSE AM AND ILLUSTRATED BY OSLO DAVIS.
Children have better childhoods when the adults in their lives relate to them with empathy and try to see things from their perspective. Underpinning that empathy is our belief that children are amazing learners and active contributors to their own learning and experiences, and those of others. They deserve our respect for them as partners—as people who have the right to take an active role in their own lives. The pages that follow suggest situations, sometimes exaggerated, sometimes not, that approximate experiences a child might have, to help illustrate how the world must appear from their perspective.
When we don’t take a child’s perspective, we may teach the opposite of what we intend. For example, what are children learning when sweets are rewards for eating more nutritious foods or for good behaviour? …
Sometimes we overlook the impacts of children’s physical abilities and size. Their literal vantage points and perspectives are often different to ours. Before a baby can roll over or crawl, adults determine what they look at …
Imagine that you are concentrating on reading a book or watching TV and a giant comes up silently behind you and, without warning, grabs you under the arms and sweeps you up in the air or wipes your face …
How would you feel if you were at a gathering and someone approached and said, ‘Cedric is admiring your watch [or briefcase or handbag or iPhone]; you need to let him have a turn wearing it’? What if a stranger or …
Have you ever loitered beside a bowl of chocolates and said to yourself, ‘I’ve had enough, I should walk away and not eat any more’, before immediately reaching for another one? Or have you ever told yourself …
How would you react if your partner arrived home one day with another adult and said, ‘I’d like you to meet Sam, who is coming to live with us. I love you both. It will be great for you. We’ll all be good …
Would you like it if someone hovered over you while you were eating, constantly pressuring you to hurry up? We sometimes do this to children when they want to do things for themselves, such as …
Children learn more from what we do than from what we say. How might you react if you were absorbed in a game or film on your laptop and a friend or family member took it away from you, saying …
What if you had few choices in your daily life? What if someone dictated what and when you ate, the clothes you wore, and how you spent your time? From birth, children need and want to make choices …
How would it affect your self-concept if someone did everything for you—someone who could do it more quickly, more efficiently, more competently? Sometimes we like having things done for us, but not …
When you think you’re being helpful—for example, helping a friend paint a room or cook a meal—and you feel good about contributing, how would you feel if the friend said, ‘Gee, you’re really …
Have you ever been in a foreign country where you spoke none or only a bit of the language, or where the people you were talking to only understood a small portion of …
When you’ve been told to do something, and you don’t know why, don’t you want an explanation? Suppose you ask for a reason and the response is, ‘Because I said so’? That response doesn’t teach …
Have you ever experienced someone being too close physically? How would you feel if you were out with friends and a stranger patted you on the head? What if that stranger picked you up and …
What would you do if the only time others paid attention to you was when you misbehaved? Children need attention, and they learn from the adults around them how to get it. Sometimes they seem to …
When you make a mistake, how do you feel if someone reacts with a self-satisfied grin and says, ‘See, I told you so’? We all like to succeed, to be correct. This need can carry over into our …
If you are sad or worried and someone says something like, ‘Cheer up, there’s nothing to be worried about’, or ‘Snap out of it, you’re all right’, does that make you feel better? …
Would you like it if you were with someone you love, and when you were not looking they sneaked away without saying goodbye? Leaving a distressed child can be a very painful experience, and …
