‘I told you so’—not helpful

When you make a mistake, how do you feel if someone reacts with a self-satisfied grin and says, ‘See, I told you so’? We all like to succeed, to be correct. This need can carry over into our relationships with young children. It is almost irresistible to say to the child you have warned several times not to run, ‘I told you that would happen’ when they fall and hurt themselves. But does that help? A respectful reminder of a warning given is a different matter, however, and may help the child to understand the consequences of their actions. The aim of our interactions is to support children’s learning about how to get along well in the world, not to demonstrate how powerful or wise we are.